#sHut the f ck up

[gutsby]

Diehard

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Erectile dysfunction. Daddy kink. Praise kink if you squint. Overstimulation. Cumplay. She/her pussy pronouns. Pushing physical limits with a pre-negotiated safe word in place for it.

Note: No more limp dick erasure. We die like [old] men.

Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse | Word count: 986

Joel just wanted to prove he could fuck like he used to.

He didn’t think he’d almost kill you in the process.

“JOEL!” you screeched, heels digging deep in the mattress as your climax came in seismic waves.

The stimulation was insane. Normally the much-older man would have been down for the count after two—and usually one—big O, but now his chest was heaving, hips relentlessly beating a punishing pace against your own.

Your walls were slick with not only your cum but his, milky ropes of his arousal making for an obscene set of sounds every time his dick slid in and out of your cunt. You could feel his balls tighten and twitch with every forthcoming spurt of him, practically reeling with the pulse of each new sticky gift inside you. His groans rumbled low, but the power and pleasure and outright primal fervor they conveyed were unmistakeable. You had to look down, feebly, to believe it yourself—Joel never fucked his way through your orgasm and his.

Then you felt a palm slide up the back of your head, and Joel held it up to make sure you watched him fuck you.

“J-Joel,” you whimpered, watching his girth disappear and reappear at least a half-dozen times as you did.

“Just a little more, honey,” he murmured against your forehead. The smack of each thrust was dizzying, “Want my pretty girl nice and full’a me before she leaves, okay?”

Joel never could let you head back to college without a few of his loads and a head full of filthy memories—something to hold you over until your next visit home. You would’ve liked to mumble back, ‘Okay,’ but then your pussy clenched around him, and his thrusts grew faster.

“My sweet girl,” he grinned, “She likes that, huh?”

You could scarcely manage a nod. The weight of your head was held fully by him, and if that wasn’t indicative enough of your fucked-out state, your face surely said the rest. When Joel leaned back to adjust the angle of his thrusts, he caught sight of your hooded, glossy stare and almost came all over again. He slowed his pace for once.

Then he dipped a finger between your body and his, just long enough to douse the tip of his digit with cum. He bottomed out inside you, watched you part your lips in a gentle gasp, and pressed his touch to that open space.

It was almost like you didn’t have the strength to suck. You just let him smear the sticky stuff along your lower lip, gaze plastered to his. Then Joel’s cock sank deeper.

“O-ow!” you whined, partly reanimated by the stretch.

“You can take it,” Joel grunted.

The double entendre wasn’t lost on you. You could, and would, take his finger and his cock inside. You suckled dumbly on the cum-drenched fingertip in assent.

But when Joel’s finger popped out of your mouth and his thrusts picked back up, you weren’t entirely convinced you would be able to hold up the second half of that deal.

It wasn’t fair. He took one magic pill, and poof, his dick stayed hard for half the fucking day. You had nothing but your youth and two shaking legs to ensure your survival. When Joel worked his cock back and forth a couple more times and it seemed your body was about ready to scream, you took hold of his biceps and squeezed tight.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

The tip of his cock nicked a soft ridge inside you, and you jolted back. Joel’s palm was still pressed to your head, holding you to him, and his hips had you pinned as well.

Instead of answering, you whimpered.

You didn’t want him to stop, but you also weren’t sure if you could handle any more. Your eyes met his, pleading.

“Can’t what?” Joel pressed, a little more sternly.

Another whimper. Inside, Joel’s cock was rubbing that pleasure point raw, and you felt another climax coming.

“Use your words.”

“Too— too—”

Each new thrust was sending stars before your eyes. Joel was one sick man if he tried to make you talk while he fucked you past the point of all intelligible speech.

“Too what? Tell me, baby.”

You’d get that fucker back someday. Joel just grinned.

“Too much,” you hissed when his hips delivered another mind-numbing push. Then, feeling pleasure threaten to peak at almost a painful degree, “Toomuchtoomucht—”

Joel continued thrusting, knowing damn well you knew what to say if you really wanted him to stop. As if to underscore this point, he tipped your head back and made you hold his gaze, features creased with a frown.

“That sure don’t sound like the safe word to me.”

It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. He didn’t need to tell you twice, or even breathe a second word besides. With one more brush of Joel’s thick, throbbing, implausibly hard cock, he sent you over the edge and into your fourth orgasm of the morning, hitting that spot again and again.

And again.

And again.

Just like before, Joel fucked you through each wave, catching your lips this time to stifle your cries. You might’ve gone blind for a second or two, but that was alright; the pleasure, proximity, and then the sweet, erratic pulse of his cock sending rope after rope of his cum deep inside made the overstimulation worthwhile.

Your body went limp against the bed, held tight in Joel’s grasp, when you felt that sickly sweet dichotomy of soft, tender touches and a cock lodged between your walls that was as hard as it had ever been. Still trying to console you with kisses, still trying to warm you up for another round, perhaps, Joel almost laughed out loud in your mouth when you groaned into his and whispered:

“Please don’t ever take that fucking pill again.”

[gcldensnitch]

real life footage of Dawn writing his silly, little article with the title "breaking: prince of alderly is a MANWHORE!" in the next chapter

anyways,,,,,

HPMA AU; A Christmas Prince

Chapter 6: When In Alderly

Summary: The royal family holds a benefit for a local orphanage. Dawn and Olympia have an adventure. Dawn finds himself in danger in more ways than one.

Words: 4.6k

A/N: This chapter has a spicy scene but it’s not explicit. The smut is only implied but if somebody wants it, I can post a bonus chapter.

Characters:

Dawn Harvelle and Evander Alderly by @potionboy3​

Diana Somerset by @endlessly-cursed​

Beginning | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 6: When in Alderly

The next day Dawn was late to his meeting with Olympia. He was lightly out of breath when he entered the room.

“Dawn!” Olympia greeted him. “Did you run here?”

“Sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find socks.”

“Did you pack insufficiently?” asked Olympia.

“Yeah, maybe a little…”

“Hm.”

“So, what do you want to do today?” he asked her.

“How about you decide this time?” Olympia suggested. “What do you normally do?”

“I don’t suppose you have a mall here?”

“Of course we have a shopping center.”

“I don’t suppose we’re allowed to go?”

“No, I’m not supposed to leave, especially with you,” Olympia said.

“People might assume I’m your bae.”

“That would be funny.”

“How about a photoshoot?” Dawn suggested.

“A photoshoot?”

“Yeah, I like photography and a winter-y shoot might be fun to do.”

“Alright,” Olympia agreed. “On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“I get to choose which pictures you use in your article,” she said matter-of-factly. Dawn froze. Then he laughed nervously.

Keep reading

[yzur02]

*The 501st is boarding the gunships after a battle*

Anakin: *sees something moving inside Fives's backpack*

Anakin: hey Fives, whatcha got there?

Fives, panicking: a smoothie, sir!

Gizka in the backpack: *happy gizka noises*

Ahsoka: what?

Anakin:

Anakin: I'm sorry Fives, but you can't keep pets, it's against the regulations

Fives: *sigh* I understand, sir, I will give it back

Gizka: *pokes head outside the backpack*

Ahsoka: aaw, it's so cute! can we keep it?

Anakin: pets are against the rules and, if I let Fives keep it, everyone will want one too, besides Obi-wan will have my head if I keep ignoring the rules, so no, sorry snips

Ahsoka: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: no is no, I'm sorry

Ahsoka: *elbows Fives*

Fives: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: *struggling* I will not yield

Every other clone in the gunship: *sad puppy eyes*

Anakin: no, I am a Jedi knight, I am stronger than this

Gizka: *copies everyone else*

Anakin: we can't keep pets

Everyone: *sad noises*

Anakin: however!

Everyone: *looks up*

Anakin: as the General, I CAN recruit republican citizens as officers in my legion

Everyone: *gasp*

Anakin: *looking at the gizka* congratulations on your promotion, lieutenant!

Everyone: *cheers*

...

Obi-wan in the Resolute's briefing room: Anakin, what is that?

Anakin: what is what, master?

Obi-wan: *points at the chair labeled 'Liutenant Cazul' where a gizka is sitting*

Anakin: that's Lieutenant Cazul, master

Obi-wan: *annoyed mom look* Anakin

Anakin: so... fun story, actually...

...

To this day Marshall Commander Cazul remains one of the most decorated veterans of the Clone Wars, and the most mysterious individual in the Imperial databases, nobody knows for sure who was Cazul before joining the 501st, how he looked, or where he went after his retirement, when the war ended, but his legacy lives on every Imperial cadet who grows up dreaming of being just like him.

[anxiouspotatorants]

Is ASP a complete stranger who does not owe neither me nor any other viewer anything at all? Yes. Do I still refuse to forgive her for never delving into how much of a mirror Lorelai and Jess are to each other and for never letting them even come close to confront that for 6 seasons (7 not counting for obvious reasons) and a revival? You bet your ass I do.

[simpalert]

Made a trilogy of videos and stitched em together so I don't gotta upload em separately on here

Enjoy the chaos of the dragons messing up English

[beautiful-basque-country]

So tired of the people that when you say you completely understand where the violence of any given situation comes from, puts on their Regina George mode and start "so you support it? the killing of [add here any political figure or anonymous victims]".

Ma'am. I wish it was as simple as saying I support it or I don't. Grow up.

Real world is violent and some people just don't have the privilege to be moral because they're being oppressed and fighting for their lives.

[becabeale143]

[wolviestars]

“You need someone like me who’s not afraid of Doctor Who” Master?????

[afalconfromalcyoneus]

うっせぇうっせぇうっせぇわ!

I love this song grr. Can someone create a Map with it? Specifically for Ivypool.

[starlightwoofwoof]

👑💜✨ Sign up for King Jellyjam’s Sports Camp today and become Only The Best at any sport that’s here! ✨💜👑

nah I’m just kidding this definitely isn’t a real camp (you wouldn’t want it to be real, promise me)

Anyway, I thought this was a cool idea so I did it 😀 (cause 1. I just really wanted to draw cartoon/mascot! King JJ, and 2. I was kinda inspired by hearing there was a Camp Jellyjam sign up poster cameo in the most recent Goosebumps series- I haven’t seen the cameo personally or even the series for that matter, so idk if it’s even accurate at all, but still-)

also sorry for all the THACJJ stuff idk I just love this specific book so, so, so, so, S O much-

okayI’llshutupbyeeeeeee

[piepiepiemag]

i’m home at my family’s and my roommate/landlord apparently had some potential roommates over to look at the house. the room i live in currently would be their room so they went in there to look at it. mind you this is out on my shelf

she saw… that…… and apparently she’s moving in. i’m losing it

[theloveinc]

why am i still so plagued by rick sanchez

[ronnyraygun]

Some of Tim’s most underrated and disrespected looks, tbh.

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

@simpyfrog So we gon’ talk about how Texas defended Loui with little to no hesitation here orrrr—

[una-hive5]

Relatives/parents/teachers:

"Having a talent in art is a gift! You can be anything!"

Me: I want to be animator!

Relatives/parents/teachers:

"Become a nurse! So you can draw in your free time!"

Me:

[simpalert]

on request, heres some more md paci icons

hope ya'll enjoy

credit/reblog if used :3